One-Liners✳
fighting between the legs
fighting between the legs One day a dick and balls got in an argument about who was bigger the balls said "i'm bigger because i dropped first" the d…
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25 jokes · RSS ↗One-Liners
One-Liners✳
A man walks into the library looking for a book...
A man walks into the library looking for a book... After looking around, he walks up to the front desk and asks "Hey, I am looking for a book about…
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Two old guys sit on a park bench
Two old guys sit on a park bench One old guy brags: "When I was young, I could bend an iron rod over my erect member!" The other old guy: "Can you s…
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In between her legs
In between her legs A little boy asked his dad whats in between mums legs and he says "It's paradise my boy." "Ok whats in between your legs" and he…
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Getting my feet measured today
Getting my feet measured today And a guy walks up and pulls his dick out and asks to be measured. The lady looked at him and said "Sir, we measure f…
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What is between your legs
What is between your legs A little boy asked his dad whats in between mums legs and he says "It's paradise my boy." "OK whats in between your legs" …
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Alphabet Pick-up-line
Alphabet Pick-up-line Me: You remind of the 20 letters of the alphabet Girl: There are 26 letters in the alphabet dumbass Me: Oh, I forgot to me…
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People are giving Hillary too much flak for fainting
People are giving Hillary too much flak for fainting I mean come on, it was 92 degrees out there, how can you expect an older women to withstand 102…
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Tell me a joke Siri
Tell me a joke Siri Jak:"Tell me a joke Siri" Siri:"Just look at your girlfriends face, oh wait, you don't have one" Jak:"Jack off Siri" Siri:"Ha…
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Will He Grow Up to be Gay?
Will He Grow Up to be Gay? I wonder if you can predict if a kid will grow up to be gay by observing his early development. I know some parents who …
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Streakers and Strokers
Streakers and Strokers Three little old ladies were sitting on a park bench when a flasher came by in only an overcoat and opened it as wide as it c…
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Two high af friends .....
Two high af friends ..... Two friends were sitting in the street facing a mirror one of em asked the other to pass him a lighter his friend said he …
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A guy wants to lose weight
A guy wants to lose weight So he buys a treadmill and follows a schedule to run on the treadmill for 30 minutes every day. Unfortunately he hasn't l…
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A proton walks over to an electron and asks, "Hey electron, why are you always so negative?"
A proton walks over to an electron and asks, "Hey electron, why are you always so negative?" The electron turns around, stares at him deeply for a b…
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A deaf, blind and a cripple man...
A deaf, blind and a cripple man... A deaf, blind and a cripple man decide to go camping in the woods. The deaf man gets alerted by a noise and tells…
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Drive through counter was being robbed...
Drive through counter was being robbed... While she was held at gunpoint, a cop car shows up at the counter. Cops : Can we have 2 burgers. Lady :…
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An old woman lies dead on the side of the road...
An old woman lies dead on the side of the road... and she has semen in her eyes. The policeman looked at her and said 'Looks like she saw her killer…
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A little marry poppins
A little marry poppins Mahatma Gandhi, as you know, walked barefoot most of the time, which produced an impressive set of calluses on his feet. He a…
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A man parks in a handicapped spot
A man parks in a handicapped spot One day a man parks in a handicapped spot. An elderly woman woman drives up from behind, beeps the man and says "y…
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So I have this dilemma...
So I have this dilemma... I have an unopened box of condoms in my dresser, but I check recently and it turns out they expired. Now idk if I should b…
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A Funny Story
Q: How many [IBM] Technical Writers does it take to change a light bulb? A: 100. Ten to do it, and 90 to write document number GC7500439-0001, Multit…
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A Funny Story
Q: How many existentialists does it take to screw in a light bulb? A: Two: One to screw it in and one to observe how the light bulb itself symbolizes…
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I was at a party and I lost my watch
I was at a party and I lost my watch I started looking throughout the house, and when I turn a corner there's a guy standing on my timepiece, border…
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Playing Pinball at an Arcade
Playing Pinball at an Arcade I was playing pinball while in an arcade, I guess I was doing good because a little kid was watching me. My ball got s…
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