Classic Anecdotes✳
MOLECULE, n.
MOLECULE, n. The ultimate, indivisible unit of matter. It is distinguished from the corpuscle, also the ultimate, indivisible unit of matter, by a cl…
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37 jokes · RSS ↗Classic Anecdotes
Classic Anecdotes✳
On the whole, an artist in England gains something by
On the whole, an artist in England gains something by being attacked. His individuality is intensified. He becomes more completely himself. Of course…
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GNOME, n.
GNOME, n. In North-European mythology, a dwarfish imp inhabiting the interior parts of the earth and having special custody of mineral treasures. Bjo…
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But--never mind," I say; "I shall see all the _boxes_
"But--never mind," I say; "I shall see all the _boxes_ in time." So he kick his leg upon the board, and cry "cheat!" and we are out into the country …
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SOME unlucky lads in the University bearing a spite to
SOME unlucky lads in the University bearing a spite to the dean for his severity towards them, went secretly one night and daubed the rails of his st…
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--There,--I don't want to read any more of it.
--There,--I don't want to read any more of it. You see that many of these statements are highly improbable.--No, I shall not mention the paper.--No, …
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LAND, n.
LAND, n. A part of the earth's surface, considered as property. The theory that land is property subject to private ownership and control is the foun…
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SOUL, n.
SOUL, n. A spiritual entity concerning which there hath been brave disputation. Plato held that those souls which in a previous state of existence (a…
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SCARIFICATION, n.
SCARIFICATION, n. A form of penance practised by the mediaeval pious. The rite was performed, sometimes with a knife, sometimes with a hot iron, but …
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Mr.
Mr. Mudge called on us yesterday. We were eating watermelon. Perhaps the reader may have eaten watermelon, if so, he knows how difficult a thing it i…
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News comes from Southern Kansas that a boy climbed a
News comes from Southern Kansas that a boy climbed a cornstalk to see how the sky and clouds looked and now the stalk is growing faster than the boy …
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A MINISTER in Aberdeenshire, sacrificed so often and so freely
A MINISTER in Aberdeenshire, sacrificed so often and so freely to the jolly god, that the presbytery could no longer overlook his proceedings, and su…
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When he had proceeded a few hundred yards from town
When he had proceeded a few hundred yards from town, he concluded to take the "stuff," and not satisfied with once, he kept trying until the world tu…
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The evolution of man is slow.
The evolution of man is slow. The injustice of men is great. It was necessary that pain should be put forward as a mode of self-realisation. Even now…
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But this is not a solution: it is an aggravation
But this is not a solution: it is an aggravation of the difficulty. The proper aim is to try and reconstruct society on such a basis that poverty wil…
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There are many other things that one might point out.
There are many other things that one might point out. One might point out how the Renaissance was great, because it sought to solve no social problem…
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Individualism does not come to man with any claims upon
Individualism does not come to man with any claims upon him at all. It comes naturally and inevitably out of man. It is the point to which all develo…
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The Calendar
I asked the calendar if it was free this weekend. It said, “Sorry, my days are numbered.”
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The Password
My computer told me my password was weak. I said, “It’s doing its best.”
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The Library
Why was the math book sad? It had too many problems.
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The Remote
My partner said I never listen. At least, I think that’s what they said.
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The Elevator
I’m reading a book about anti-gravity. It’s impossible to put down.
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The Garden
I told my plants a joke. They were rooted to the spot.
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The Window
I used to be a window cleaner, but I couldn’t see myself doing it forever.
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