Everyday Situations✳
WHEN Lord Chesterfield was one day at Newcastle House, the
WHEN Lord Chesterfield was one day at Newcastle House, the Duke happening to be very particularly engaged, the Earl was requested to sit down in an a…
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22 jokes · RSS ↗Everyday Situations
Everyday Situations✳
A NOBLEMAN had a house-porter who was an enormous eater.
A NOBLEMAN had a house-porter who was an enormous eater. "Frank," said he, one day, "tell me how many loins you could eat?" "Ah, my lord, as for loin…
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A GENTLEMAN having put out a candle, by accident, one
A GENTLEMAN having put out a candle, by accident, one night, ordered his waiting-man, who was a simple being, to light it again in the kitchen. "But …
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GEORGE SELWYN, happening to be at Bath when it was
GEORGE SELWYN, happening to be at Bath when it was nearly empty, was induced, for the mere purpose of killing time, to cultivate the acquaintance of …
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AT the time of the threatened invasion, the laird of
AT the time of the threatened invasion, the laird of Logan had been taunted at a meeting at Ayr with want of a loyal spirit at Cumnock, as at that pl…
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THERE can be no doubt," said Mrs.
"THERE can be no doubt," said Mrs. Nickleby, "that he is a gentleman, and has the manners of a gentleman, and the appearance of a gentleman, although…
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A SCOTCH lady gave her servant very particular instructions regarding
A SCOTCH lady gave her servant very particular instructions regarding visitors, explaining, that they were to be shown into the drawing-room, and no …
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SEVERAL young gentlemen once got up a play at Cambridge.
SEVERAL young gentlemen once got up a play at Cambridge. On the day of representation one of the performers took it into his head to make an excuse, …
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MR.
MR. DALE, who it would appear was a short stout man, had a person in his employment named Matthew, who was permitted that familiarity with his master…
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Ours is a noble old house, and stretches a long
Ours is a noble old house, and stretches a long way back into antiquity. The earliest ancestor the Twains have any record of was a friend of the fami…
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INNATE, adj.
INNATE, adj. Natural, inherent--as innate ideas, that is to say, ideas that we are born with, having had them previously imparted to us. The doctrine…
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A park orator returning home flushed with his oratorical efforts
A park orator returning home flushed with his oratorical efforts, and also from other causes, found a mild curate seated opposite in the tram-car. "I…
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LORD SEAFORTH, who was born deaf and dumb, was to
LORD SEAFORTH, who was born deaf and dumb, was to dine, one day, with Lord Melville. Just before the time of the company's arrival, Lady Melville sen…
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THE _New Orleans Picayune_ defines a quandary thus:--"A baker with
THE _New Orleans Picayune_ defines a quandary thus:--"A baker with both arms up to the elbows in dough, and a flea in the leg of his trowsers." We ha…
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Buck" Kilgore, of Texas, who once kicked open the door
"Buck" Kilgore, of Texas, who once kicked open the door of the House of Representatives when Speaker Reed had all doors locked to prevent the minorit…
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This island is now the property of the Stamford family,--having
"This island is now the property of the Stamford family,--having been won, it is said, in a raffle, by Sir ----Stamford, during the stock-gambling ma…
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Then I feel myself abymed at despair, and begin to
Then I feel myself abymed at despair, and begin to suspect that he amused himself. But, still I tell myself, "Well, never mind; we shall see." And th…
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A GENTLEMAN, talking of the tenacity of life in turtles
A GENTLEMAN, talking of the tenacity of life in turtles, asserted that he had himself seen the head of one, which had been cut off three weeks, open …
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The little man was perfectly harmless, but the lady sitting
The little man was perfectly harmless, but the lady sitting next to him in the car was a spinster, and suspicious of all males. So, since they were s…
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MONAD, n.
MONAD, n. The ultimate, indivisible unit of matter. (See _Molecule_.) According to Leibnitz, as nearly as he seems willing to be understood, the mona…
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AT the breaking up of a fashionable party at the
AT the breaking up of a fashionable party at the west end of town, one of the company said he was about to "drop in" at Lady Blessington's; whereupon…
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When the captain of the fire department was about to
When the captain of the fire department was about to resign, his men banded together and purchased an elaborate, embossed silver horn to present to h…
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