Wordplay & Puns✳
IT being unlawful to set man-traps and spring-guns, a gentleman
IT being unlawful to set man-traps and spring-guns, a gentleman once hit upon a happy device. He was a scholar, and being often asked the meaning of …
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Food & Drink✳
AT one of the annual dinners of the members of
AT one of the annual dinners of the members of the Chapel Royal, a gentleman had been plaguing Edward Cannon with a somewhat dry disquisition on the …
Read the joke ↗Travel & Transport✳
The new member of the club listened with solemn interest
The new member of the club listened with solemn interest to the various stories that were told in the smoking room. They were good stories, and obvio…
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Modern pictures are, no doubt, delightful to look at.
Modern pictures are, no doubt, delightful to look at. At least, some of them are. But they are quite impossible to live with; they are too clever, to…
Read the joke ↗Work & Business✳
OBSOLETE, adj.
OBSOLETE, adj. No longer used by the timid. Said chiefly of words. A word which some lexicographer has marked obsolete is ever thereafter an object o…
Read the joke ↗Animals & Nature✳
EMBALM, v.i.
EMBALM, v.i. To cheat vegetation by locking up the gases upon which it feeds. By embalming their dead and thereby deranging the natural balance betwe…
Read the joke ↗Arts & Entertainment✳
The young man, who was interested in natural history, was
The young man, who was interested in natural history, was sitting on the porch one June evening with his best girl, who was interested in music. The …
Read the joke ↗Classic Anecdotes✳
On the whole, an artist in England gains something by
On the whole, an artist in England gains something by being attacked. His individuality is intensified. He becomes more completely himself. Of course…
Read the joke ↗Doctors & Health✳
DR.
DR. HICKRINGAL, who was one of King Charles the Second's chaplains, whenever he preached before his Majesty, was sure to tell him of his faults from …
Read the joke ↗Everyday Situations✳
THERE can be no doubt," said Mrs.
"THERE can be no doubt," said Mrs. Nickleby, "that he is a gentleman, and has the manners of a gentleman, and the appearance of a gentleman, although…
Read the joke ↗Family & Marriage✳
Everybody knew that John Polkinhorn was the carelessest man in
Everybody knew that John Polkinhorn was the carelessest man in town, but nobody ever thought he was careless enough to marry Susan Rankin, seeing tha…
Read the joke ↗History & Politics✳
Boil a quart of tar until it becomes quite thin.
Boil a quart of tar until it becomes quite thin. Remove the clothing, and before the tar becomes perfectly cool, with a broad flat brush, apply a thi…
Read the joke ↗School & Education✳
CERBERUS, n.
CERBERUS, n. The watch-dog of Hades, whose duty it was to guard the entrance--against whom or what does not clearly appear; everybody, sooner or late…
Read the joke ↗Law & Courtroom✳
MR.
MR. BETHEL, an Irish barrister, when the question of the Union was in debate, like all the junior barristers published pamphlets upon the subject. Mr…
Read the joke ↗Money & Shopping✳
A PERSON wishing to test whether a daft individual, about
A PERSON wishing to test whether a daft individual, about whom a variety of opinions were entertained,--some people thinking him not so foolish as he…
Read the joke ↗Religion & Clergy✳
Fust off, I was 'Piscopal, but I hain't learned, an'
"Fust off, I was 'Piscopal, but I hain't learned, an' they done say the service so fast, I nebber could keep up, an' when I come out behin', dey all …
Read the joke ↗School & Education✳
Well, yes," said Old Uncle Lazzenberry, who was intimately acquainted
"Well, yes," said Old Uncle Lazzenberry, who was intimately acquainted with most of the happenstances of the village, "Almira Stang has broken off he…
Read the joke ↗Sports & Games✳
CEMETERY, n.
CEMETERY, n. An isolated suburban spot where mourners match lies, poets write at a target and stone-cutters spell for a wager. The inscriptions follo…
Read the joke ↗Travel & Transport✳
Two Irishmen fresh from Ireland had just landed in New
Two Irishmen fresh from Ireland had just landed in New York and engaged a room in the top story of a hotel. Mike, being very sleepy, threw himself on…
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We must have a weak spot or two in a
We must have a weak spot or two in a character before we can love it much. People that do not laugh or cry, or take more of anything than is good for…
Read the joke ↗Work & Business✳
IN 1824, when the question of erecting a monument to
IN 1824, when the question of erecting a monument to Shakespeare, in his native town, was agitated by Mr. Mathews and Mr. Bunn, the King (George IV.)…
Read the joke ↗Animals & Nature✳
MR.
MR. SLOCUM was not educated in a university, and his life has been in by-paths, and out-of-the-way places. His mind is characterized by the literalne…
Read the joke ↗Arts & Entertainment✳
It was a sweet, sad play, and there was hardly
It was a sweet, sad play, and there was hardly a dry handkerchief in the house. But one man in the first balcony irritated his neighbors excessively …
Read the joke ↗Sports & Games✳
An Englishman was once persuaded to see a game of
An Englishman was once persuaded to see a game of baseball, and during the play, when he happened to look away for a moment, a foul tip caught him on…
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