Wordplay & Puns✳
IT being unlawful to set man-traps and spring-guns, a gentleman
IT being unlawful to set man-traps and spring-guns, a gentleman once hit upon a happy device. He was a scholar, and being often asked the meaning of …
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22 jokes · RSS ↗Wordplay & Puns
Wordplay & Puns✳
Modern pictures are, no doubt, delightful to look at.
Modern pictures are, no doubt, delightful to look at. At least, some of them are. But they are quite impossible to live with; they are too clever, to…
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It was not until the dessert was brought on that
"It was not until the dessert was brought on that I realized that I had been doing all the talking; indeed, the young woman seated next me had not ut…
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The meaning of any beautiful created thing is, at least
The meaning of any beautiful created thing is, at least, as much in the soul of him who looks at it as it was in his soul who wrought it. Nay, it is …
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There has been much controversy for years as to the
There has been much controversy for years as to the proper definition of the much abused word "gentleman." Finally, by a printer's error in prefixing…
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We must have a weak spot or two in a
We must have a weak spot or two in a character before we can love it much. People that do not laugh or cry, or take more of anything than is good for…
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A FRENCHMAN having frequently heard the word _press_ made use
A FRENCHMAN having frequently heard the word _press_ made use of to imply _persuade_, as, "press that gentleman to take some refreshment," "press him…
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The word was soon passed around that the ape would
The word was soon passed around that the ape would chew tobacco; and the result was that several plugs were thrown at him. Unhappily, however, one of…
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SIR WALTER SCOTT once stated that he kept a lowland
SIR WALTER SCOTT once stated that he kept a lowland laird waiting for him in the library at Abbotsford, and that when he came in he found the laird d…
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OCCASIONAL, adj.
OCCASIONAL, adj. Afflicting us with greater or less frequency. That, however, is not the sense in which the word is used in the phrase "occasional ve…
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What right has Goethe, what right has Arnold, what right
What right has Goethe, what right has Arnold, what right has any dictionary, to define the word Irreverence for me? What their ideals are is nothing …
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There is nothing so absolutely pathetic as a really fine
There is nothing so absolutely pathetic as a really fine paradox. The pun is the clown among jokes, the well-turned paradox is the polished comedian,…
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IDIOT, n.
IDIOT, n. A member of a large and powerful tribe whose influence in human affairs has always been dominant and controlling. The Idiot's activity is n…
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I need hardly say that I am not, for a
I need hardly say that I am not, for a single moment, complaining that the public and the public press misuse these words. I do not see how, with the…
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Words can be just as dangerous as acts.
Words can be just as dangerous as acts. There is a common notion that the right of free speech implies the right to say anything we please and reliev…
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ONE of Mrs.
ONE of Mrs. Montague's blue-stocking ladies fastened upon Foote, at one of the routs in Portman Square, with her views of Locke "On the Understanding…
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Within the last few years two other adjectives, it may
Within the last few years two other adjectives, it may be mentioned, have been added to the very limited vocabulary of art-abuse that is at the dispo…
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EXCEPTION, n.
EXCEPTION, n. A thing which takes the liberty to differ from other things of its class, as an honest man, a truthful woman, etc. "The exception prove…
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Mr.
Mr. Hawkins bowed and accepted his Lordship's pronunciation of the word during the remainder of his speech. When Lord Campbell proceeded to sum up th…
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MAGDALENE, n.
MAGDALENE, n. An inhabitant of Magdala. Popularly, a woman found out. This definition of the word has the authority of ignorance, Mary of Magdala bei…
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MAD, adj.
MAD, adj. Affected with a high degree of intellectual independence; not conforming to standards of thought, speech and action derived by the conforma…
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The Update
I asked my phone for a joke. It said, “I would, but I’m currently updating my punchline.”
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