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CEMETERY, n.
CEMETERY, n. An isolated suburban spot where mourners match lies, poets write at a target and stone-cutters spell for a wager. The inscriptions follo…
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22 jokes · RSS ↗Sports & Games
Sports & Games✳
It was well along in the forenoon of a bitter
It was well along in the forenoon of a bitter winter's day. The town of Eastport, in the state of Maine, lay buried under a deep snow that was newly …
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Modernity of form and modernity of subject-matter are entirely and
Modernity of form and modernity of subject-matter are entirely and absolutely wrong. We have mistaken the common livery of the age for the vesture of…
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What is termed sin is an essential element of progress.
What is termed sin is an essential element of progress. Without it the world would stagnate or grow old or becomes colourless. By its curiosity it in…
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Mark Twain refused to play golf himself, but he consented
Mark Twain refused to play golf himself, but he consented to walk over the course and watch the representative's strokes. The representative was rath…
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AN Irish footman carrying a basket of game from his
AN Irish footman carrying a basket of game from his master to his friend, waited some time for the customary fee, but seeing no appearance of it, he …
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Frequent, I have sot in a poker game, and it
"Frequent, I have sot in a poker game, and it sure is queer how things will turn out. I've sot hour after hour in them games, without ever takin' a p…
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The tenderfoot in the mining town was watching a poker
The tenderfoot in the mining town was watching a poker game for heavy stakes, when he saw the dealer give himself four aces from the bottom of the de…
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An Englishman was once persuaded to see a game of
An Englishman was once persuaded to see a game of baseball, and during the play, when he happened to look away for a moment, a foul tip caught him on…
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Marry him?" exclaimed the other.
"Marry him?" exclaimed the other. "Not likely. What on earth could I do with him? He's rejected from the Army, he can't ride, he can't play tennis, g…
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He took one match, lit the cigarette, and handed the
He took one match, lit the cigarette, and handed the box back over the counter, saying, "Here, take it and put it on de shelf, and when anodder sport…
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The eminent English Statesman Arbuthnot-Joyce plays golf so badly that
The eminent English Statesman Arbuthnot-Joyce plays golf so badly that he prefers a solitary round with only the caddy present. He had a new boy one …
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And I have been an author for 20 years and
And I have been an author for 20 years and an ass for 55 Argument against suicide Conversationally being yelled at Dead people who go through the mot…
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THE late Duke of Grafton, when hunting, was thrown into
THE late Duke of Grafton, when hunting, was thrown into a ditch; at the same time a young curate, calling out "Lie still, your Grace"; leaped over hi…
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But I think I have no such prejudice.
But I think I have no such prejudice. A few years ago a Jew observed to me that there was no uncourteous reference to his people in my books, and ask…
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It is said that home is the place where a
It is said that home is the place where a man hangs his hat, but with a woman it is different. There is a rocker with a worn cushion, a clock that do…
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REFUGE, n.
REFUGE, n. Anything assuring protection to one in peril. Moses and Joshua provided six cities of refuge--Bezer, Golan, Ramoth, Kadesh, Schekem and He…
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Morbleu!" I exclaimed with inadvertencyness, but I stop myself.
"Morbleu!" I exclaimed with inadvertencyness, but I stop myself. Then he pull out his snuff-_box_, and I take a pinch, because I like at home to be s…
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TOPE, v.
TOPE, v. To tipple, booze, swill, soak, guzzle, lush, bib, or swig. In the individual, toping is regarded with disesteem, but toping nations are in t…
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GARRICK was on a visit at Hagley, when news came
GARRICK was on a visit at Hagley, when news came that a company of players were going to perform at Birmingham. Lord Lyttelton said to Garrick, "They…
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The golfer who was employing him was playing very badly
The golfer who was employing him was playing very badly, and the caddie threw himself down on the grass at one point and watched him. When the man ha…
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Well, he started in Monday morning plowing corn.
"Well, he started in Monday morning plowing corn. At 10 o'clock he struck for a helper to lift the gangs out at the ends, and I sent the kid out to d…
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