Animal Jokes✳
Ravens and Crows
Ravens and Crows A good friend told me a story once. When she was a kid her family would often go to zoos and museums while on vacation. They were i…
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Travel & Transport✳
COOKE and Dibdin went, at a tolerably steady quick-step, as
COOKE and Dibdin went, at a tolerably steady quick-step, as far as the middle of Greek Street, when Cooke, who had passed his hand along all the pali…
Read the joke ↗Money & Shopping✳
SIR ROBERT WALPOLE having misquoted a passage in Horace, Mr.
SIR ROBERT WALPOLE having misquoted a passage in Horace, Mr. Pulteney said the honorable gentleman's Latin was as bad as his politics. Sir Robert adh…
Read the joke ↗Law & Courtroom✳
AN undergraduate had unconsciously strayed into the garden of a
AN undergraduate had unconsciously strayed into the garden of a certain D.D., then master of the college adjoining. He had not been there many minute…
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But," confidentially, "the auld meenister he put three or four
"But," confidentially, "the auld meenister he put three or four saxpenses into the plate hissel', just to gie them a start. Of course he took the sax…
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I do not remember my first lie, it is too
I do not remember my first lie, it is too far back; but I remember my second one very well. I was nine days old at the time, and had noticed that if …
Read the joke ↗Family & Marriage✳
The new minister's first sermon was very touching and created
The new minister's first sermon was very touching and created much favorable comment among the members of the church. One morning, a few days later, …
Read the joke ↗Everyday Situations✳
A park orator returning home flushed with his oratorical efforts
A park orator returning home flushed with his oratorical efforts, and also from other causes, found a mild curate seated opposite in the tram-car. "I…
Read the joke ↗Doctors & Health✳
A PHYSICIAN calling one day on a gentleman who had
A PHYSICIAN calling one day on a gentleman who had been severely afflicted with the gout, found, to his surprise, the disease gone, and the patient r…
Read the joke ↗Classic Anecdotes✳
When he had proceeded a few hundred yards from town
When he had proceeded a few hundred yards from town, he concluded to take the "stuff," and not satisfied with once, he kept trying until the world tu…
Read the joke ↗Arts & Entertainment✳
The pair had much amusement in trying to identify the
The pair had much amusement in trying to identify the donor, but failed in the effort. They duly attended the theatre, and had a delightful time. On …
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MRS.
MRS. MONTGOMERY was the only--the motherless--daughter of the stern General Campbell, who early installed her into the duties of housekeeper, and it …
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It is clear, then, that no Authoritarian Socialism will do.
It is clear, then, that no Authoritarian Socialism will do. For while under the present system a very large number of people can lead lives of a cert…
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IDIOT, n.
IDIOT, n. A member of a large and powerful tribe whose influence in human affairs has always been dominant and controlling. The Idiot's activity is n…
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Modernity of form and modernity of subject-matter are entirely and
Modernity of form and modernity of subject-matter are entirely and absolutely wrong. We have mistaken the common livery of the age for the vesture of…
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UBIQUITY, n.
UBIQUITY, n. The gift or power of being in all places at one time, but not in all places at all times, which is omnipresence, an attribute of God and…
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WAR, n.
WAR, n. A by-product of the arts of peace. The most menacing political condition is a period of international amity. The student of history who has n…
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BAAL, n.
BAAL, n. An old deity formerly much worshiped under various names. As Baal he was popular with the Phoenicians; as Belus or Bel he had the honor to b…
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WHEN George the Fourth went to Ireland, one of the
WHEN George the Fourth went to Ireland, one of the "pisintry" said to the toll-keeper as the king passed through, "Och, now! an' his majesty never pa…
Read the joke ↗Law & Courtroom✳
BISHOP ANDREWS, who was master and a great benefactor of
BISHOP ANDREWS, who was master and a great benefactor of Pembroke Hall, was one day at court with Waller the poet, and others. While King James was a…
Read the joke ↗History & Politics✳
MONARCH, n.
MONARCH, n. A person engaged in reigning. Formerly the monarch ruled, as the derivation of the word attests, and as many subjects have had occasion t…
Read the joke ↗Food & Drink✳
THE late Sir Thomas Robinson was a tall, uncouth figure
THE late Sir Thomas Robinson was a tall, uncouth figure, and his appearance was still more grotesque, from his hunting-dress: a postilion's cap, a ti…
Read the joke ↗Family & Marriage✳
A MONK having intruded into the chamber of a nobleman
A MONK having intruded into the chamber of a nobleman, who was at the point of death, and had lost his speech, continued crying out, "My lord, will y…
Read the joke ↗Everyday Situations✳
A GENTLEMAN having put out a candle, by accident, one
A GENTLEMAN having put out a candle, by accident, one night, ordered his waiting-man, who was a simple being, to light it again in the kitchen. "But …
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