Doctors & Health · 2026-11-09
Drunk guy comes home to his wife [long]
Drunk guy comes home to his wife [long]
His wife offers him an ultimatum - "You come home in a mess again, and I'm leaving you".
The next day, the guy bumps into a friend, they end up in a pub. The man gets shit-faced and vomits all over himself.
"Shit" the guys says. "If I go home like this my wife will leave me"
"No problem" says his friend. "I'll stick a £10 note in your pocket, and tell the wife that someone else was sick on you, and gave you £10 to get your clothes dry-cleaned".
With the solution to his problem, the drunkard heads home. His wife sees him and is predictably furious.
He explains "no darling, it's ok - a gentleman vomited on me and gave me £10 for the dry-cleaning".
"That's all very well" the wife replies, "but what's the *other* £10 note for?"
Guy replies "ah - that was from the man who shat in my pants".
His wife offers him an ultimatum - "You come home in a mess again, and I'm leaving you".
The next day, the guy bumps into a friend, they end up in a pub. The man gets shit-faced and vomits all over himself.
"Shit" the guys says. "If I go home like this my wife will leave me"
"No problem" says his friend. "I'll stick a £10 note in your pocket, and tell the wife that someone else was sick on you, and gave you £10 to get your clothes dry-cleaned".
With the solution to his problem, the drunkard heads home. His wife sees him and is predictably furious.
He explains "no darling, it's ok - a gentleman vomited on me and gave me £10 for the dry-cleaning".
"That's all very well" the wife replies, "but what's the *other* £10 note for?"
Guy replies "ah - that was from the man who shat in my pants".
Source: Reddit.