Scottish jokes [jokes by Scottish people about themselves - not racist jokes]

Scottish jokes [jokes by Scottish people about themselves - not racist jokes]

These are two separate jokes, which is why the division Markdown coding is used.

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After his barn burned down, an Aberdeenshire farmer put in an insurance claim.

The agent who came round to inspect the damage and settle the claim tried to sell him some insurance.

"Are you covered against cattle theft? And floods?" the insurance salesman asked.

"Floods, eh?" said the farmer. "That's interesting. How do you go about starting a flood?"

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"Good evening" said the man at the door. "I'm collecting for the school swimming pool. Would you like to contribute?"

"Certainly", said John. "Hold on a minute."

He went into the house, then reappeared with a jug of water.