Doctors & Health · 2026-11-09
A man realizes his shirt is too big.....
A man realizes his shirt is too big.....
A man realizes his shirt is too big. He's upset. He's gotten accustomed to his new, fat self and usually buys extra, extra large. He expects extra extra large shirts to condense into extra large shirts so that they'll make it right under the belt and no further. This shirt, however, is composed of a devilish ratio: 57:43 polyester to cotton. Even after multiple launders with hot water, it winds up sagging to his middle thighs. Due to his recent influx of matter (the start of his new relationship with the dreaded adverb "morbidly"), he simply cannot deal with the notion of **more saggy**. He lives in destitution and can't bare to throw this shirt away. He's also acutely aware that selling the top is highly unlikely. You see, he lives in the liberal city of Portland, and he designed the shirt to read "GOVERN-MEANT TO BE USED SPARSELY", a nod to his feelings about how society oughta function. He realizes this little phrase wasn't as witty as he would have liked, but he's okay with it. It sucks, but at least he maintains a glimmer of originality in what he views as a mundane world. Suddenly! A flash of brilliance! His therapist Raymond Berkowitz is only a phone call away, and his wife is a wiz with the sowing machine! He gives Dr. Berkowitz a ring, and boom! He's in business! They set an appointment for the weekend, and the whole thing gets taken care of lickety-split. As he leaves, he turns to Dr. Berkowitz and says, "Who would've thought, to make my clothes smaller, all I needed was my **shrink Ray**!......
A man realizes his shirt is too big. He's upset. He's gotten accustomed to his new, fat self and usually buys extra, extra large. He expects extra extra large shirts to condense into extra large shirts so that they'll make it right under the belt and no further. This shirt, however, is composed of a devilish ratio: 57:43 polyester to cotton. Even after multiple launders with hot water, it winds up sagging to his middle thighs. Due to his recent influx of matter (the start of his new relationship with the dreaded adverb "morbidly"), he simply cannot deal with the notion of **more saggy**. He lives in destitution and can't bare to throw this shirt away. He's also acutely aware that selling the top is highly unlikely. You see, he lives in the liberal city of Portland, and he designed the shirt to read "GOVERN-MEANT TO BE USED SPARSELY", a nod to his feelings about how society oughta function. He realizes this little phrase wasn't as witty as he would have liked, but he's okay with it. It sucks, but at least he maintains a glimmer of originality in what he views as a mundane world. Suddenly! A flash of brilliance! His therapist Raymond Berkowitz is only a phone call away, and his wife is a wiz with the sowing machine! He gives Dr. Berkowitz a ring, and boom! He's in business! They set an appointment for the weekend, and the whole thing gets taken care of lickety-split. As he leaves, he turns to Dr. Berkowitz and says, "Who would've thought, to make my clothes smaller, all I needed was my **shrink Ray**!......
Source: Reddit.