A man wins a safari trip...

A man wins a safari trip...

Having never done anything like this before in his life, he goes to visit a big-game hunter for some pointers.

"Oh, nothing to it, old boy," the grizzled hunter chuckled. He removed a double-barreled elephant gun from its stand and handed it to the man. "If a lion charges, just plant your feet, take a deep breath, aim, and fire."

"But what if I miss?"

"That's what the second barrel is for."

"And if i miss with *that*?"

"Well, in that case, reach around behind you, grab a big handful of shit, and throw it in the lion's eyes."

"A handful of shit? Where will I get *shit* from?"

"If you miss with both barrels, trust me - it'll be there."