Sports & Games · 2026-11-05
I'm not allowed to play D&D anymore
I'm not allowed to play D&D anymore
Funny, but not a joke, this really happened.
So when I realized you could do ANYTHING, I used all of my turns (while my team was fighting a dragon) to try to pickpocket our strongest member's sword. Eventually I got a crit and "took the sword without him noticing" so he had no choice but to keep attacking with a pretend sword. Eventually his character died and we all ran away.
Another instance, we were approaching a dungeon and were trying to see past a locked door. Our party members didn't have enough perception(?) to look through the key hole, so I used my turn to "stick my character's genitals through the opening to widen it" well I ended up rolling a 1 and got stuck while taking bleed damage. It took two turns to get out and alerted the enemies behind the door. We lost that battle as well since I used most of my turns to try to *critically jiggle orc titties*
This all happened between 2 and 3 am and I was never invited back but we're still all friends. It was my first time playing. My characters name was Thunderfuck McDumptruck
Funny, but not a joke, this really happened.
So when I realized you could do ANYTHING, I used all of my turns (while my team was fighting a dragon) to try to pickpocket our strongest member's sword. Eventually I got a crit and "took the sword without him noticing" so he had no choice but to keep attacking with a pretend sword. Eventually his character died and we all ran away.
Another instance, we were approaching a dungeon and were trying to see past a locked door. Our party members didn't have enough perception(?) to look through the key hole, so I used my turn to "stick my character's genitals through the opening to widen it" well I ended up rolling a 1 and got stuck while taking bleed damage. It took two turns to get out and alerted the enemies behind the door. We lost that battle as well since I used most of my turns to try to *critically jiggle orc titties*
This all happened between 2 and 3 am and I was never invited back but we're still all friends. It was my first time playing. My characters name was Thunderfuck McDumptruck
Source: Reddit.