I found a bug on my cat today.

I found a bug on my cat today.

So I promptly plucked it from the fur and set it on the table to smash it.

But before I could kill the bastard it turned around, looked me in the eye and cried, "Please, don't! I've worked so hard in my life to finally make a living for myself! It can't end this way, this can't be the end, let me fight another day!"

I replied, "You're so over, drama-tick," and squashed the fucker.