Tech Jokes · 2026-11-13
#long One evening, Broseidon, Al Bundy, Cristiano Ronaldo, Vegeta, San Goku, King Joeffrey, Frodo and Markus decided to go for a drink.....
#long One evening, Broseidon, Al Bundy, Cristiano Ronaldo, Vegeta, San Goku, King Joeffrey, Frodo and Markus decided to go for a drink.....
The 7 friends and Markus haven't seen each other for a few weeks and they were in a good mood to bang some girls. Lorde has a gig in the coolest club in town and the squad decided to go to the club after a short pre-drinking. The pre-drinking took place at Al Bundys home and they had profound discussions. Vegeta to King Joeffrey "man do you ever fucked a girl in the other hole?" "NO of course not!" responds Joeffrey, "i don't want to get her pregnant!" After short pre-drinking they start their journey.
All except Al Bundy. Al was a little bit to drunk for partying. He was standing in the bathroom and told the showerhead to stop crying.
The others were on their way. All completely drunk. Frodo saw a tree and climb on it "fellers!! that's the biggest broccoli i've ever seen!!" The others laughed. BUUUUUUUMMMMMMM!!! a porsche has crashed into the tree.
The driver was screaming "my porsche! my porsche! my porsche!" Broseidon rushes him to help! "Hey bro forget your porsche, you've lost your arm!!"
The porsche driver responds "my rolex! my rolex! my rolex!"
"Don't worry dude I'll take care of it!" says Joeffrey! Proud he looks at his new watch! Moments later the paramedics arrived and so the journey of the 6 friends and Markus continues.
"THIS IS SPARTAAA!!!" Cristiano Ronaldo shouted. They've reached the coolest club in town! >>>SPARTA<<< It was heavily guarded by 300 doormen. Unfortunately Frodo's worn-out clothes were not classy enough to enter the club. He had to stay outside. Meanwhile Broseidon, Vegeta, San Goku, Cristiano Ronaldo King Joeffrey and Markus went into the club. ---Well, of course, like every other group of friends that enter a club they lost each other a few moments after entering... So everyone has to fight alone to find love--- Lorde was playing on a big stage in the middle of the main floor. Everyone was
partying.
Broseidon goes straight to a beautiful Lady. After some smalltalk they kissed each other... everything seems fine, but right before Broseidon wants to ask for her number, another guy shows up. And for some reason the Lady was completely into that other guy. Broseidon had no chance to get the girl. He looses the battle against this mysterious guy who calls himself Lorenzo Von Matterhorn. What a dickhead! he's never seen something like that before! Unbelievable...
King Joeffrey walks into an rnb-floor and sees a fat girl dancing on a table. He walks over to her and says, "Wow, nice legs!" She is flattered and replies, "You really think so?" Joeffrey says, "Oh definitely! Most tables would have collapsed by
now".
Cristiano Ronaldo had it going on with a hot blonde lady. The whole time she talks about her husband who died cause of a small flesh wound he was getting in a battle against some wannabe-soldier. He killed the wannabe but later the wound had festered and so he died because of a sepsis, and then it gets all crazy with slaves, witchcraft, fire and all that shit. She said now she's fully into her career and stuff but Cristiano didn't listen, he just wanted to bang her. After sone drinks they went to the toilet to do some grown up stuff. Cristiano riped his clothes off.... "doesn't look my body like dynamite?" - "maybe, but with that short fuse it's worthless!" She said and left Cristiano behind crying in the toilet. At the same time King Joeffrey was beaten up cause he had made fun of Kathleen Jenner and the new principal of the scool in town didn't tolerate such intolerant douchebags. Meanwhile Markus wants to get a date. He wasn't a womenizer but he had heard from his friend Stifler that women like tough guys, so he walks up to a lady at the bar and says: "eyyy you like tough guys??" -
She: "hmmm could be" -
He: "Well i don't use toilet paper..." -
She responds "Ohhhhh... raaawwrr... you have to show me ;)"
Just kidding. She slaped him and ran away. San Goku flirts with a tall girl and he was really into her. He was very politely and also paid her some drinks, then he ask for her number... but the girl responds "You find it in the phone book." - "but I don't know your name" San Goku said. The girl just answered "that's in the pone book to!"
Poor San Goku... Vegeta has watched the whole scene from behind...
Sooo back to Broseidon. He's found another cute girl to approach. He get's in touch with her. But suddenly a dude with short pants and a Bowling shirt shows up. This prick told about a beach house in malibu and paaaaff the girl was fallen in love with that strange way to old man. But that was nothing compared to what's next. You should have seen Broseidon's eyes as he flirted with the next girl and suddenly a small ugly guy with a bowl haircut appears. So this dickhead really claimed to be an astronaut. And the worst thing, the chick did believe him!! What a liar! Can you believe that?! "I bet this bowl haircut dick still lives at his mum's house" Broseidon thought. Clearly that was to much for him. He decided to get completely drunk!
After his hopeless attempt before, Markus sits alone at a table and drinks a pepsi. At the table next to him there was a beautiful brunette... Markus wondered what he could say... He knows, everytime he is talking to a girl he says something stupid. Suddenly the brunette stands up and walks away. So he thought "I guess it's better this way, it wouldn't have worked out anyway" but while he was thinking about how much it wouldn't worked out with her the brunette came back and sit down at the table again. "THAT'S A SIGN!" he thought "WE ARE MEANT FOR EACH OTHER!!" so he empties his pepsi, streches out his chest and walks up to her like a champion "heyyyyyy.... you've been pooping?"
Vegeta had enough... only girls who are way to young and with waaaaayyy to much make up... He get's approached by a lot of girls. One of them, was really persistent. Ironically it was the bitch that had dumped San Goku before. Vegeta remembers her, so he just says "Words can't describe how beautiful you are..."
She "awwwwww that's so sweeeeet! :)"
V: "but numbers can. 2/10."
Vegeta turns around, and calls a cab. On his way home he was wondering why Lorde had hairy legs... but then he discard the thoughts, cause he had to think about his next biceps workout
tomorrow.
Finally Broseidon was kissing a gorgeous blonde wich said she works at the cheesecake factory. What he didn't know: the sexy blonde was on her period. But she just thought "Ahh he's so sweet and also really drunk, he won't even notice!"
The next morning Broseidon wakes up alone in the bed wondering what had happened the night before... He gets a shock!!! The whole bed was covered in blood! He just remembers the blonde girl from the cheesecake factory but what happened next? What have he done? Immidiately he runs to the gun locker! "GOOD! All cartridges complete so I haven't shot her!" he tought. Next he checks the knife block in the kitchen. All knifes there, no knife is bloody "Oh good i haven't stabed her!" But then he thinks "wait a moment... I don't have a gun locker... I haven't even a knife block! Where the fuck am I and what have I done to the girl?" In panic he runs through the apartment. Suddenly he stop in front of a mirror... thinking "FUCK!!! I'VE EATEN HER!!!!"
The 7 friends and Markus haven't seen each other for a few weeks and they were in a good mood to bang some girls. Lorde has a gig in the coolest club in town and the squad decided to go to the club after a short pre-drinking. The pre-drinking took place at Al Bundys home and they had profound discussions. Vegeta to King Joeffrey "man do you ever fucked a girl in the other hole?" "NO of course not!" responds Joeffrey, "i don't want to get her pregnant!" After short pre-drinking they start their journey.
All except Al Bundy. Al was a little bit to drunk for partying. He was standing in the bathroom and told the showerhead to stop crying.
The others were on their way. All completely drunk. Frodo saw a tree and climb on it "fellers!! that's the biggest broccoli i've ever seen!!" The others laughed. BUUUUUUUMMMMMMM!!! a porsche has crashed into the tree.
The driver was screaming "my porsche! my porsche! my porsche!" Broseidon rushes him to help! "Hey bro forget your porsche, you've lost your arm!!"
The porsche driver responds "my rolex! my rolex! my rolex!"
"Don't worry dude I'll take care of it!" says Joeffrey! Proud he looks at his new watch! Moments later the paramedics arrived and so the journey of the 6 friends and Markus continues.
"THIS IS SPARTAAA!!!" Cristiano Ronaldo shouted. They've reached the coolest club in town! >>>SPARTA<<< It was heavily guarded by 300 doormen. Unfortunately Frodo's worn-out clothes were not classy enough to enter the club. He had to stay outside. Meanwhile Broseidon, Vegeta, San Goku, Cristiano Ronaldo King Joeffrey and Markus went into the club. ---Well, of course, like every other group of friends that enter a club they lost each other a few moments after entering... So everyone has to fight alone to find love--- Lorde was playing on a big stage in the middle of the main floor. Everyone was
partying.
Broseidon goes straight to a beautiful Lady. After some smalltalk they kissed each other... everything seems fine, but right before Broseidon wants to ask for her number, another guy shows up. And for some reason the Lady was completely into that other guy. Broseidon had no chance to get the girl. He looses the battle against this mysterious guy who calls himself Lorenzo Von Matterhorn. What a dickhead! he's never seen something like that before! Unbelievable...
King Joeffrey walks into an rnb-floor and sees a fat girl dancing on a table. He walks over to her and says, "Wow, nice legs!" She is flattered and replies, "You really think so?" Joeffrey says, "Oh definitely! Most tables would have collapsed by
now".
Cristiano Ronaldo had it going on with a hot blonde lady. The whole time she talks about her husband who died cause of a small flesh wound he was getting in a battle against some wannabe-soldier. He killed the wannabe but later the wound had festered and so he died because of a sepsis, and then it gets all crazy with slaves, witchcraft, fire and all that shit. She said now she's fully into her career and stuff but Cristiano didn't listen, he just wanted to bang her. After sone drinks they went to the toilet to do some grown up stuff. Cristiano riped his clothes off.... "doesn't look my body like dynamite?" - "maybe, but with that short fuse it's worthless!" She said and left Cristiano behind crying in the toilet. At the same time King Joeffrey was beaten up cause he had made fun of Kathleen Jenner and the new principal of the scool in town didn't tolerate such intolerant douchebags. Meanwhile Markus wants to get a date. He wasn't a womenizer but he had heard from his friend Stifler that women like tough guys, so he walks up to a lady at the bar and says: "eyyy you like tough guys??" -
She: "hmmm could be" -
He: "Well i don't use toilet paper..." -
She responds "Ohhhhh... raaawwrr... you have to show me ;)"
Just kidding. She slaped him and ran away. San Goku flirts with a tall girl and he was really into her. He was very politely and also paid her some drinks, then he ask for her number... but the girl responds "You find it in the phone book." - "but I don't know your name" San Goku said. The girl just answered "that's in the pone book to!"
Poor San Goku... Vegeta has watched the whole scene from behind...
Sooo back to Broseidon. He's found another cute girl to approach. He get's in touch with her. But suddenly a dude with short pants and a Bowling shirt shows up. This prick told about a beach house in malibu and paaaaff the girl was fallen in love with that strange way to old man. But that was nothing compared to what's next. You should have seen Broseidon's eyes as he flirted with the next girl and suddenly a small ugly guy with a bowl haircut appears. So this dickhead really claimed to be an astronaut. And the worst thing, the chick did believe him!! What a liar! Can you believe that?! "I bet this bowl haircut dick still lives at his mum's house" Broseidon thought. Clearly that was to much for him. He decided to get completely drunk!
After his hopeless attempt before, Markus sits alone at a table and drinks a pepsi. At the table next to him there was a beautiful brunette... Markus wondered what he could say... He knows, everytime he is talking to a girl he says something stupid. Suddenly the brunette stands up and walks away. So he thought "I guess it's better this way, it wouldn't have worked out anyway" but while he was thinking about how much it wouldn't worked out with her the brunette came back and sit down at the table again. "THAT'S A SIGN!" he thought "WE ARE MEANT FOR EACH OTHER!!" so he empties his pepsi, streches out his chest and walks up to her like a champion "heyyyyyy.... you've been pooping?"
Vegeta had enough... only girls who are way to young and with waaaaayyy to much make up... He get's approached by a lot of girls. One of them, was really persistent. Ironically it was the bitch that had dumped San Goku before. Vegeta remembers her, so he just says "Words can't describe how beautiful you are..."
She "awwwwww that's so sweeeeet! :)"
V: "but numbers can. 2/10."
Vegeta turns around, and calls a cab. On his way home he was wondering why Lorde had hairy legs... but then he discard the thoughts, cause he had to think about his next biceps workout
tomorrow.
Finally Broseidon was kissing a gorgeous blonde wich said she works at the cheesecake factory. What he didn't know: the sexy blonde was on her period. But she just thought "Ahh he's so sweet and also really drunk, he won't even notice!"
The next morning Broseidon wakes up alone in the bed wondering what had happened the night before... He gets a shock!!! The whole bed was covered in blood! He just remembers the blonde girl from the cheesecake factory but what happened next? What have he done? Immidiately he runs to the gun locker! "GOOD! All cartridges complete so I haven't shot her!" he tought. Next he checks the knife block in the kitchen. All knifes there, no knife is bloody "Oh good i haven't stabed her!" But then he thinks "wait a moment... I don't have a gun locker... I haven't even a knife block! Where the fuck am I and what have I done to the girl?" In panic he runs through the apartment. Suddenly he stop in front of a mirror... thinking "FUCK!!! I'VE EATEN HER!!!!"
Source: Reddit.