Why I am not on TV

Why I am not on TV

People keep asking me, why aren’t you on TV, you are funny, smart, good looking, have a sharp wit and are an all-round a great guy.

And my response is usually somewhat like this:
“Well, to be perfectly honest, I think I am not really fit for TV.”
“I mean, I don’t really exercise that much, so I probably am a bit too heavy.”
“Also I don’t think I have the guts to do it, it is scary to be on TV you know”
“And I have had problems with my balance before, what if I fall?”
“But most of all, I have a flat screen TV. 1 inch is kinda hard to stand on you know."

And they always ask me whether it’s a joke and they say that it wasn’t funny.
And I just don't understand why they don’t get it.
I mean, of course it is a joke. There is no way I can afford a flat screen TV.