After a long day at work, I come home to my nagging wife.

After a long day at work, I come home to my nagging wife.

"The sink's leaking, fix it," she says. "I'm not a plumber," I say. "The electric's broken, fix it," she says. "I'm not an electrician," I say. She stomps off in a huff.

The next day, I come home from work again and... everything's fixed! "What happened?" I ask her. "I got a man in to do it," she says. "How much did it cost?" I say. "Well, he asked for either an apple pie, or a blowjob," she says. "I hope you gave him an apple pie!" I say. "I'm not a baker," she says.