Request: Joke for on my door

Request: Joke for on my door

My roommates pranked me by decorating my door with a big ass black telephone you can crayon on(also a shitload of fabulous other stuff). So i need a joke with the answere (black) telephone to write on it. Jokes with the answere Martijn and/or Laurent are also welcome.

Thank you in advance!

Ps. Im dutch so english or dutch is fine.